Two Truths & A Lie

Over the past nine months, I've been reminded in big, shout-in-my-face ways of two truths and a lie about life: 

Truth: Change is inevitable.

Truth: Life is all about contrast.

Lie: We can control what happens to us.

Set against a backdrop of some of the most immense and all-encompassing darkness, pain, and uncertainty that I (and many of us collectively) have experienced; combined with a series of personal heart hurts, “what the fuck” moments, wildly unfortunate events that now make for entertaining table stories, and forceful shoves in new directions, has led me to ask some very big existential life questions and has also reminded me of one very important thing. 

All we can do in each and every moment is “play the cards we’ve been dealt." Meaning, to make the next best decision based on the facts of the current reality we are living in.

On October 5th 2023, I flew to Greece for what I thought would be a quick 3-day weekend trip with my best friend visiting from LA, only to never return to the city I’d made home for the last 6 years. No closure, no goodbyes, just an open ended prayer that I would be back soon. But change happened with a capital C and after weeks of waiting for “things to end,” I realized it was now my time to play the cards I’d been dealt. With a whole lot of sadness and the denial that resistance brings, I decided it was time to expedite my timeline of moving back to the States and close my chapter of living in Israel.

Change with a capital C is the hardest kind of change. It's the unwanted war, the parent’s divorce, the unexpected lay off, the big breakup, the call back to Reserve Duty, the move to a new city; the life changing health diagnosis. It’s the type of change that bears the greatest amount of uncertainty and challenges our strength, our belief, our trust, our faith. It's the type of Change that can take months (for me it's been around 9 months) just to process. It's the type of change that alters the core of who we are and who we can become. 

But it’s in this type of change that contrast shows its full power. 

Although the past nine months have brought confusion and questions I wasn't sure I had the strength to answer, I've found that recommitting to my belief and trust in a power far greater than myself has guided me through each moment of darkness. When everything seemed to be falling apart, what lay on the other side were light and blessings that I couldn't have planned for myself. 

Light manifested in the unity, bravery, and resilience of the Jewish people around the world. It shone through the new people, experiences, and communities I've discovered in the States, constantly expanding and inspiring me. And through a strengthened connection and trust within myself, empowering me with the unwavering belief that I can do hard shit and all will be okay.

Of course, it’s important to recognize not everyone's life experience is the same. Some people I know have endured unimaginable darkness. But for those of us fortunate enough to be here, it is our duty to seek out those glimmers of light, to share and reveal it in ways that contribute to building better versions of ourselves and a better world.

So here are my reminders when it comes to the big C’s: 

Change is the only constant. It's a fundamental truth that we often resist because it disrupts our comfort zones. However, it's through embracing change, rather than fighting it, that we find peace. Change forces us to adapt, to reevaluate our paths, and often leads us to places we never imagined. It's in these moments of immense flux that we can discover new opportunities, new perspectives and a recommitment to what we desire.

Contrast is the essence of life. I've come to see that the deepest shadows bring with them the potential for the brightest light. It's in the contrast between despair and hope, between loss and gain, that we find our true selves. The moments of intense struggle and the ensuing clarity they bring act as a catalyst for transformation. Without the dark, we cannot fully appreciate the light. Without sorrow, joy loses its depth. The same applies to our personal growth; the challenges we face are what shape us, define us, and push us to our limits, revealing our inner strength. Each contrasting experience teaches us valuable lessons about resilience, compassion, and the beauty of our journey.

Control is an illusion, a comforting but false sense of security. The truth is, we can only control our reactions, our attitudes, and our actions. We can choose to face adversity with courage, to accept change with grace, and to find meaning in our struggles. By letting go of the need to control, we free ourselves to fully experience life in all its unpredictable beauty.

Life will always present us with new contrasts, changes, and challenges. It's a continuous journey of learning, adapting, and growing. The key is to remember that it's not about the destination, but about how we navigate the path. It’s about how we can choose to see light amidst even the most immense darkness.  It's about "playing the cards we've been dealt" with courage, wisdom, and an open heart. Because in the end, it's the contrast that makes the journey worthwhile, the change that keeps it interesting, and the letting go of control that makes it truly beautiful.