I am grateful for: the ability to consciously uncouple

Relationships are our greatest teachers. They are here to serve as mirrors to us in the areas we need to heal or the places we need to grow. They challenge us with new perspective and allow us to break out of old patterns to help us evolve and facilitate our self-growth.

We often try to change the other person in order for us to be “happy.” Or, we blame the other rather than own our own feelings and take responsibility for our part in the relationship. But relationships are only meant to magnify whatever is going on within us. To give us the understanding that every frustration we may have within the relationship, is really a signal to look inside ourselves to identify what needs work.

Relationships can bring us the greatest amount of struggle and pain, and also the greatest amount of love and happiness. The truth is, sometimes relationships run their course. The question is, do we hold on out of fear or do we let go out of love?

So many of us stay in relationships out of fear of being alone or of losing someone we love. We hold on so tight to something that isn’t fully serving us out of the comfort and familiarity of it. But what most of us don’t know, is that there is a way to let go out of love. There is a way to let go without losing anything and only gaining more. More love, more gratitude, more strength, more lessons, more growth. If we are able to find gratitude for all the relationship has given us, we have the ability to uncouple in a conscious, intentional and truly loving way.

Growing apart is a natural part of life. It is not something we should be afraid of. Having those painful, vulnerable, and completely honest conversations are necessary for our growth. The hardest part is confronting that small whisper in your heart telling you that something is not 100% right, even if nothing is fundamentally wrong. It takes an extreme amount of courage and strength to listen to that inner voice and trust. Trust that you have the courage to do what your soul needs and not only what it wants or what is easiest. To trust that your love is strong enough to love from a distance. 

Uncoupling is not easy, and it is still extremely painful and hard. But when you love someone on a soul level, you truly want what is best for the other and for yourself. This may mean coming to the harsh reality that what is best, is gracefully letting go. No one can teach you how to consciously uncouple, but it takes two people who are aware enough to let go of their ego and let love lead the way.

I truly believe people are meant to come into our lives for a reason and the lessons I’ve learned in my relationships, about myself as an individual and as a partner, are more valuable than any workshop or retreat I have ever done.

So, I encourage you to take responsibility for your part in a relationship because once you take full ownership of the role you play, you’re able to shift your perspective from hurt to compassion. When you are able to see your relationship from the other person’s perspective, you can get to a deeper level of connecting. And when you are able to appreciate the relationship for all that it has taught you, you will only gain more- more love for others and for yourself.