I am grateful for: being unapologetically me.

“It is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.” 

This is a phrase that has been said to me a few times before when others describe how my approach to life is very different from their own or the ‘norm.’

I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t trigger me. That it doesn’t trigger emotions and feelings of being judged, unaccepted, misunderstood, “too different,” not enough, or an outsider. Because it does-and it doesn’t feel good. 

But each time this phrase is said to me, and each time these emotions are triggered, it illuminates where my internal work needs to be done: where I need to continue practicing radical self-acceptance and self-love.

As challenging and uncomfortable experiences enter my life and illuminate these triggers, my self-exploration deepens and I pose these questions to myself:

“What is the impact I want to make on the world and on the people that enter my life?” 

“What is my mark?” 

“What is my purpose?” 

I’ve realized that we all want to make an impact and leave a lasting impression on someone or something. To do this takes being our most authentic selves and living from the core truth of who we are. It takes being unafraid to get hurt, shut down, judged, not accepted by everyone and it takes stopping our own insecurities from dimming our light and straying us further from who we truly are.  

I believe my purpose is to bring about more positivity. To offer new perspective that allows myself and others to find more meaning and to live more fully. 

My mark is to be a light. 

My impact is to be a source of positive, vibrant energy and to inspire more love and gratitude. 

The way I think isn't necessarily “right” and I know not everyone will agree with me or accept the way that I think- but that doesnt make me “wrong” either. 

It makes me open-minded. It drives me to encourage open-mindedness and help others open up, expand horizons and see a bigger picture. It allows me to offer unique and fresh perspectives to experiences and "problems." It inspires me to create space and present new opportunities to approach situations in a different way. This approach has personally added more meaning and richness to my life and has allowed for more self-exploration and growth.

My thinking and life approach may be called “different,” “abstract,” “circle,” spiritual,” or “too positive,” but that doesn’t mean I am denying the harsh realities of life. 

It means that I am choosing to focus on the good, on the opportunity, on the lessons, on the growth.

I am choosing to accept reality for what it is, but then consciously react and respond in ways that will create positive change and make a positive impact. 

So I am learning to accept that maybe dealing with me is like “fitting a square peg in a round hole." 

But my “round” way of thinking is my impact, it is my mark, it is my purpose. 

I am unapologetically me. And I encourage you to be too.